Dear Viven,
There are books,
magazines, websites, television programmes, groups online and off, in most of
the tongues of the earth, for those inside and out, French or not, all
dedicated to getting the most out of Paris.
It’s the most visited city in the world, and perhaps the most
iconic. Couples kissing (read: making
out (read: practically fucking)) on the lock-and-key bridge, the Eiffel’s nightly flashing
lights, the subsequent nightly gasping breaths, rotten-eyed service,
gleaming-eyed bicyclists, and wallets stolen in front of the Mona Lisa – clichés here are as common
as Parisians pissing on the street. So
I’ll try not to shovel on some more; but then, here I am, writing about
Paris. Get your grain of salt ready.
I didn’t fall in love with Paris. I still don’t know if I’d use the word ‘love’
to describe our relationship, but maybe, ‘mutual respect’ – a working
understanding? What’s the term married
couples use when they stay together for their children? Necessary intimacy? If Paris and I had children, we’d share
dinners, split the weekends, and have bedrooms on opposite ends of the
house. I do think we’d enjoy watching them
grow up together, though. We might even
hold hands, rocking back and forth in our squeaking plastic swing set.
Sorry, I digressed. What I meant to say is, if you’re like me,
Paris grows on you. You need to give it
time. There are indeed secrets and
treasures; locals-only knowledge and locals-only hangouts. The city plays hard to get, and won’t just tear
off its clothes on the first date.
Especially not if you don’t speak French. But assuming you’ve considered the guidebooks
and websites and words of mouth, here’s a few other tips on getting it to
second base:
Dining. Throw a rock in Paris and
you’ll hit four or five establishments with a kitchen. Throw a rock with good taste and an eye for
value (it’s a special rock), and it’ll probably hit the ground. There are actually hundreds, if not
thousands, of good places to eat for a decent price. But here’s where I advise you to throw:
1)
The university cafeterias
dotted around the city, open variously for breakfast, lunch and dinner –
squeeze in with an adequate tray of food for €3.10, and you don’t actually have
to be a student. http://www.crous-paris.fr
2)
Bocca della Verita, a superb
Italian restaurant on 2 rue du Sabot in the 6th. Get anything with truffle.
3)
For the Petit Déjeneur
Américain alone: Café de Métro, 67 rue de Rennes, 6th.
4)
Not supremely cheap or special,
but always good, is Le Nord Sud at 79 rue du Mont Cenis in the 18th.
5)
Hard to find in Paris is a
decent place for non-meat eaters. The
Hope Café in Montmartre is excellent for vegetarians, seafood lovers and the
ecologically conscious. 64 rue Lamarck,
18th.
6)
Best Turkish sandwiches in
Paris. Maybe even best sandwiches. Urfa Dürüm, 56 rue du Faubourg Saint-Denis,
10th.
Bread. A rule of thumb for Paris
boulangeris: go where the people are queuing for ten minutes, when they could
easily take two steps next door to where it’s empty. One of such is Maison Landemaine on 4 rue du
Poteau in the 18th, right by métro Jules Joffrin.
Where
to work.
Paris is not like London, which is the ultimate for free culture and
free indoor public space. If you want to
do some work outside your flat or office, you’re expected to find a café and
get a coffee; and it’s true, you can go hours without a bother. But if you just want a table, chair and a
roof, try:
1)
The bibliothèque publique
d’information at the Centre Georges Pompidou, 1 rue Beaubourg. The library opens too late (11am on weekends,
noon on weekdays), and for much of the year (for school) there is an enormous
queue that will often wrap around the whole building. People cut the queue all the time, and worse:
no one speaks up or stops them. When the
lines get really bad, as at exam time, whole crowds rush and cut to the front
when the doors open, literally shoving aside others who have been waiting. Still, not a word from anyone, including the
security staff, who – you guessed it – couldn’t give a rat’s ass. Inside it is crammed, and the free wi-fi
stops working around 2pm when it becomes overaccessed. However, this is an incredible and admirable
public resource (books, video, television, music, public computer stations,
language learning material, and excellent services for people with disabilities)
which is glorious in the summer when the students are gone, or if you can brave
the morning shame.
2)
The mairies of the 20
arrondissements. Each is open to the public
for regular hours, offers free wi-fi, and usually has a place to sit. Only two that I’ve found, however, have space
with tables, chairs and power plugs: the 6th at 78 rue Bonaparte,
near Saint-Sulpice; and the 10th at 72 rue du Faubourg Saint-Martin,
near Chateau d’Eau. The latter is a
beautiful building, worth a visit regardless.
Sitting
in the sun.
Cafés, of course, especially along wide boulevards such as the
Champs-Elysee, Saint-Germain or the Grands Boulevards, are perfect for
sun-catching, people-watching and time-sinking.
But if you want a guarantee of the sun on your face on a clear day, go
along the Seine, or find a large park, such as the Tuileries, the Jardin du
Luxembourg, or the Parc des Buttes Chaumont.
Running
or jogging.
Go along the Canal Saint Martin in the northeast, the Seine if you’re
close, Montmartre if you want steps and sights, Bois de Boulogne or Bois de
Vincennes for size – or pretty much anywhere else if you’re early enough to
beat the commuters.
Learn
French. Go
to the daily French practice group (Monday to Friday, 2-7pm), open to
non-French native speakers only: Cercle International de l’ARC, at 5 rue de
l’Abbaye, 6th. For a small
annual fee, unlike some extortionate conversation groups out there, you can go
as much as you like.
Books. Go to Shakespeare &
Company, across the river from the Notre Dame, for a photograph and a whiff of
sweaty armpits as you attempt to move around; but don’t buy anything at this
outrageously priced joint. A whole
series of linked bookstores called Gibert Jeune choke the Saint-Michel area
just down the road, with one containing a decent collection of books in English
and other languages. But the best
anglophone book barn is just around the corner: the Abbey Bookshop at 29 rue de
la Parcheminerie. It’s the sort of
old-world bibliophile’s paradise: too much to sort, too much to read, and too
much scent of ageing paper; it gives you that tight, tactile sense of being
packed to bursting not by gaggling iPhone photographers, but by story. It’s owned by a wonderful and very helpful
Canadian named Brian Spence, who will probably offer you tea.
To
Do. After
Napoleon’s Tomb and the Arc de Triomphe, of course.
1)
Watch the men (sadly, there are
very few women involved, yet) play speed chess in the Jardin du Luxembourg.
2)
Sunset on the steps of the Sacré-Cœur.
3)
Sunrise on the steps of the
Sacré-Cœur.
4)
Walk around early on a Sunday
morning, before the late-rising French get going.
5)
Cycle to get around.
6)
Pop in to the English Café
Philo (Philosophy Café) on the first
Wednesday of each month, at Café de Flore, 172 Boulevard Saint-Germain, 6th.
Or the weekly French Café Philo, from
10:30am to 12:15pm every Sunday, at Café des Phares, 7 Place de la Bastille, 4th.
Remember that Sartre and Picasso visited
the Café de Flore, which gives it the right to charge you a fortune for truly
average food and drink. And keep your
eyes out for the Asshole. He’ll berate
other speakers, hog the microphone for veritable paragraphs, roll his eyes at
you, and if you sit next to him you’ll get the Earful from the Master Himself. One of the most entertaining creatures in all
of Paris, if you can stomach it.
7)
For a conversation about art,
dress yourself up, go to a gallery in the Place des Vosges, and express serious
interest in a painting or sculpture.
Then listen. It’s sort of like
pretending to want a car from a car salesman, I suppose, if you really like
cars.
And. Watch your step. There’s dogshit just about everywhere.
Hope that helps!
Enjoy,
QM
